A Leap of Faith

Surrender the need to know how it will all go

11856271_10204991620658108_6751937589846142532_o (1).jpgJournal Entry 27 August 2018

I’ll be frank. I’m scared shitless. I’m about to take a leap of faith. To choose the unknown over the predictable and adventure over comfort. Kinda like when Pocahontas is at that fork in the river and chooses to take the¬†route filled with rapids over more smooth canoeing.

Some may call it bravery others stupidity, but there seems to be no other way. Maybe I am friggen crazy… I’m leaving a steady paycheck, sweet werk¬†perks, the squad I just wiggled my way into, a cosy bed and much much more all to explore new corners of the world I essentially know nothing about. Leaping into uncertainty from a platform of predictability. All I can do is trust it’s part of my destiny and I will be provided with what whatever I need. I hope.

I’m not leaving forever but I’m not sure when I’ll be back either. It’s the end of an era, a death of sorts of what has been my life the past 2ish years. It’s all part of the cycle I guess, no endings no beginnings right?

I keep getting the message “surrender the need to know how it will all go.” I feel much of my angst and misery comes from trying to predict how the course of my life will play out. A ridiculous practice given¬†that very little of my so-called¬†“predictions” have ever come to fruition. I never could have dreamed of the life I have lived thus far and that’sprobably why I always find myself saying, “if you had told me a¬†year ago I would be living here/doing this/ dating him etc. I would think you were nuts”.

If we always knew what was to come that’d take out all the fun. It’d be like knowing what you’re¬†getting for Christmas. But instead of anticipation and excitement about what I might get, I drown myself in worry and fear until I’m on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Then sooner or later I¬†realise it was all a big waste of time because¬†everything always turns out fine and I find myself pleasantly¬†surprised.

Oh well, here goes nothing! #jumpinginthedeepend #norisknoreward

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